The Reality of Racial Burnout

My research into race, White supremacy, and social justice in community music and music education has opened many doors for me. I’m regularly invited to serve on committees, give lectures, and other activities where my lived experience is valued and may aid individuals who are on their own journeys of unlearning racist or colonized predisposition. Even though this kind of exposure is beneficial to my career prospects, the personal consequences are costly.

I often find myself needing to completely unplug and distance myself from my work because of the symptoms of burnout and fatigue that affect me on a regular basis. Spending time with my family and friends serves as a significant way I can recharge and renew myself. 

But the effects of racial burnout are real. My experience is not a singular one. For my BIPOC friends and colleagues out there, I stand with you in solidarity. Facing conscious and unconscious racial aggression from White people has become something we have grown up with. White supremacy is alive and well and the White fragility that comes with confronting racism is the culprit for these symptoms. White people’s defensiveness is hurting us. We are faced with continuously justifying our experiences and providing meticulously substantiated and detailed evidence to racism deniers whose sole purpose is to utilize gaslighting techniques to make you doubt your reality. They know racism is real but they have far too much to lose and preventing you from increasing your critical consciousness is a strategy they use to maintain and secure power. 

I know my feed has featured many recent positive moments and achievements. But I want to bring my community’s attention to the very real mental and physical effects that racism has on our bodies and minds. I have developed, and have been taught, strategies to deal with racial stress. You have to train yourself and build your racial stamina. For my friends who are still learning how to cope, know that you are so worthy and taking a break to recuperate is the best gift you can give to yourself as a resilient advocate and activist who inevitably must get back up and continue this dedicated work. 

To those out there who claim that “we’ve made a lot of progress” and say that “you’re just being sensitive,” I say one thing. This gaslighting technique of denial, evasion, and argumentation IS the mechanism of your fragility and racist worldview. Be critical of that. Desire to unlearn these patterns. And understand that your oblivious skepticism is hurting BIPOC children, youth, and adults everywhere. It is time these aggressors hold themselves accountable. 

I usually spend my weekends recovering, spending time in nature, watching YouTube, or any activity that helps improve my environment, mood, and emotions. But come Monday, I jump back into the ring demanding equity and justice and holding perpetrators of racism accountable. 

I am ok. I am connected with the resources I need to stay well. But I shouldn’t have to rely on these systems just to go to school where I study or work where I do. I should be able to live a gainful life free from (re)traumatization and discrimination. This is the future I am fighting for and I will help uplift anyone with the same goal. 

Thanks for reading. 

See you on the front line,

Dion